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We have another team coming out of the Garden State, and once again they are juiced to the fucking gills with talent. Their best players include Luke “No Mitts” Greenseid (Bucknell), the lefty hammer Max Voight (Dartmouth), Colin “I love Blonde whores” Anderson (Vermont), Noah Blinkoff (Lafayette), Zach Blinkoff (Rollins), Griffin O’Sullivan (Brown), Robert Herrington (Hofstra), and former F&M commit and now Providence club legend, Brendan Schwalb. This group of lot lizards are stout from head to toe and are trying to go pro in porn and lax on any day that ends in Y. Their favorite activities outside of sex are getting weird, side questing, and destroying people's houses. The leaders of this landslide are glue-guys Brenny Binder and Graedy Jacobsen. Although Jacobsen has been deemed “glue” he has been known to mysteriously leave parties at 9 p.m. because of his “aura” #NotButter. The Blinkoff brothers have been wreaking havoc across the New Jersey prep school scene for the past few years because of their love for the twin-two-man, especially on trips to Florida. The Knights are two-time state champs, with two broken trophies as a result. Postgame, they can be seen butt chugging a tall boy Natty Ice at the Gladstone Market, where raves are mandatory and they strictly play the G.S.B lax warmup mix on Soundcloud, and grunge roots like Alice in Chains and Limp Bizkit.  Commits: 7.8/10 Moxy: 8.3/10 Glue: 7.7/10 Naughtiness: 9.5/10 Rizz: 4.1/10 Overall Score: 85/100 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DM us @upperdeckylax to get your own player/team evaluation!

Next up we have an overlooked but stout team coming out of Maryland. The Hereford high school Bulls have been a MD public school juggernaut, amassing 13 state championships with “one more to come” this year. Yes, before I get into the details of this team, it is one of three alma matters of the Jack Callis. The Hereford Hammer is one of the most polarizing figures in the sport right now, and his recent incarceration will no doubtely fuel his understudies to a 14th state chip. The Bulls 2025 squad features players like Ian Smith (NB All American), Graydon Young (Frostburg State), Brady Manakil (St. Mary’s), and Finn McGee. Although they are not loaded with commits like some may expect, their off the field antics are what will keep this team going in May. Their ideal Saturday consists of playing “wall ball” (Intense puppet sex) and “watching film” (Hot Indian Porn). Zach Baker is glue guy of the year for constantly whipping the boys in his big whip, with the big rims, with the big pump shit. Fellow glue guy Finn McGee and his positive attitude is another huge piece of this Hereford puzzle. Don’t be surprised if you see these guys heading down 83 on the weekends to post hella wrench in Towson, even though they have beaten them three years in a row in the Baltimore county chip. You simply cannot be mad at these guys, as it is the life they chose. Sko Bulls.  Alumni Network: 10/10 Commits: 6.3/10 History: 8.7/10 Chemistry: 7.3/10 Ravens: Flock Overal Score: 82/100 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ DM us @upperdeckylax to get your own player/team evaluation!

Another team stacked with chillers who get rowdy with all variants of women. Garden City is a perennial powerhouse in New York public school lax and has been going to war with Manhasset (known enemy) for 140 some odd years in the Woodstick classic, one of the sickest rivalries in HS lax. This year the Trojans are led by Cascadden brothers Luke (Navy) and Blake (Cornell), along with Luke LeSeur (Bing (santacon mecca)). Defensively they return nailgun Owen Wuchte (Bucknell) who will hit you late then bang your mom and goalie Scotty Nelson (Adelphi) who is considering living at home next year to maintain a queen bed for more space with his female endeavors. He is also apparently 90% deaf but uses echolocation to track the ball. On offense they also have 2026s Charlie Koester (Lehigh), Dan Medjid (Holy Cross) and Will Mattice (Holy Cross). Medjid and Mattice may room together in Worcester and continue their devious 2man, not sure if there are enough women at Holy Cross for 4 years though. Garden City also has young bulls coming up the ranks with 2027 Anthony Masaro and 2028s Ben Smith (Not the upenn legend (yet)) and Mark Escher. Masaro allegedly puts up 245 on bench but squats 155 for 2. No bueno. Regardless, he is seeking a NIL deal with trojan condoms if he puts up 50 goals on the year. Off the field, the boys get shiesty at any function that allows them, and rip an annual team bowling trip where their coach caters with Bojangles and the fellas can win "esco passes" in order to be exempt from brutal conditioning workouts. I'm still not sure why they have unc blue on their gloves but I expect the trojans to at least make it to the state championship this year to fight some upstate lumberjacks for some hardware. Hotbed: yes Love for the creator: Also yes Grit: 9.7/10 Depth: 8.0/10 Drip: 7.7/10 In shape-ness: 9.5/10 Overall Score: 91/100 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐ DM us @upperdeckylax to get your own player/team evaluation!