Just got out of the apartment after my girlfriend Alyssa started a ridiculous argument about how I shouldn't gamble our rent money on D3 lacrosse. Well that bitch is about to eat her words and watch me spend the money on blow, golf and Eastern European hookers anyway because the dirty Pbears just gaped MIT yesterday and now I'm fucking rich.
Even without Ethan Barnard on the face off dot, Bowdoin is easily in the top 10, and maybe even top 5. Beau Burns is a specimen and he definitely mixes silverback gorilla jizz with his coffee every morning to raise his T levels. Casey Ryan scored 11 points, expect big things from him in the future, and Jack Pyne kept the clamps on. Sam Ray Steiner had a gorgeous btb, couldn't forget that. The Dmids did there jobs, nailguns Colin Campbell, Zack Goorno and Kevin Sandor made things happen in transition and in the middle of the field. I can't name any of the MIT players, they're irrelevant and I'll bet money that some of them probably have he/him in their insta bio.
Amherst however just edged Gettysburg, but still proves that the Cac is the best conference in D3 and its not even close. Jack Dunleavy had a decent game for the bullets, putting up a hat trick, despite struggling on his individual matchup with Lawson Laverty. He can ball, but Amherst just owned them in their backyard. Expect Bob Gross and Thompson Lau to spend the night with the Gettysburg Zetas, those two put on a hell of a show. Gburg was bent over and took the ol' broom handle in the first half, but then they started to turn it up. JP Mayo also had a solid game for the bullets, kids gritty and eats nails and sandpaper for breakfast. Hopefully him and Dunleavy are at least getting some muff from the big girls as a reward for their effort today.
Salisbury and RIT are both still sitting at 7-0, Luke Nestor is a beauty, the whole team is full of beauties so nothing new with them.
The weekend looks really promising, as Bowdoin plays Amherst and Salisbury plays Stevenson. Two Barn burners going on, tune in or be square.
Colby had a solid win over Saint Josephs college of Maine. Both those teams suck but I got syphilis last year from some treesh I matched with on tinder that Saint Joseph's so fuck 'em.
The Ukranian hookers I booked, Crystal and Blanche, just arrived to the hotel, and they got party powder with them, so its my time to sign off. Till the weekend fellas, cheers.