Sorry for the long hiatus! Who knew they didn’t allow phones in rehab. Anywho my slut ex- wife Mellissa has the kids again… what that means: Franker’s Bachelor pad is in full affect #nosenachos and pussy 24/7. When I was in rehab, my bunkmate Jabari Ouedraogo gave me his special tea from his homeland. When I tell you this shit was better than the meth I did on that boy's trip to IBIZA back in 2018, I mean it. This shit made me see the future. Let me paint the picture in a few blurs: MDW at my mansion in Martha’s Vineyard #thanksdad, a half bag and a 30 rack of bohemian beers, three pre rolls of alaskan thunder fuck, and sone college lax on the tv and maybe Sugar from Ricks Cabaret (depends how horny I am).
I mean I’ll tell you I'm hot on the boys from Manayunk right now… I tuned in for the A10 championship against Richmond and the boys were on fire. Levi “gorilla cock” Anderson arabian-goggled the fuck out of Richmonds defense having 7 goals and 2 apples. Rumors were circulating that after the game he took the bus back with Richmond and slept at the Theta’s house. Students were saying the house was shaking like a level 7 earthquake… I must say impressive work Levi. This team is the most underrated team in the tournament right now, nail guns up and down the roster, this group of guys doesn’t let their sunday mornings ruin their saturday nights that's for damn sure. I think the Hawks are gonna get it done against Lars Tiffany and his pretty twink lover boys. UVA is going soft, I saw Connor “King Twink” Shellenberger at lunch the other day, he sighed then said “ive been good this week” and proceeds to order a lemon loaf. Shellenberger really is the type of dude to say “zooweemama” when a chick sends him some titty pics. #figureitout. Anyways I think the Hawks win this game by 3 don’t call me crazy. Levi “newport destroyer” Verch is man among kids when hes out on the field, i've heard he throws in 6 zyns and drinks a fifth of rumplemintz before every game… fucking Candians man. The hawks need a huge game out of Gavin “vein god” Tygh and I think he will come through. Personally I think the HAWKs should shorty shut Payton Cormier… the kid just doesn’t like running (obviously) and will probably get pissed off at half and order door dash. I hope Truitt told his rocket of a gf to not come to the game, the SJU Hawks will swarm her worse then a adolescent rabbit. Speaking of adolescents… hit puberty Truitt. All i'm saying is the HAWKS are gonna shock the world, don’t call me crazy. When they do, it will be a great night at Cuddies (the place might burn down). THWND