Ladies and Gentlemen, its that time of year again. Probably the single best thing a lacrosse player looks forward too.... lacrosse formal. This event might be the best event to ever be created... a free opportunity to take some dirty whore from your school, bang her, call her a slut, and never talk to her again... such a SHU MLAX play. Also can we fucking talk about SHU for a second. This school is the sleeper school of the fucking north. Take one look at Phi Sig instagram and its giving me hints and flashbacks of the playboy calendar of '96. I really hope the fellas over at SHU are capitalizing on this opportunity, pretty sure they are becasue they fucking blow. Speaking of Blow (favorite drug) this is what formal is all about. DUMPING SAC and drinking one too many natty ices. Nothing beats your jaw clenchig up and getting aggressive.... hahaha shoutout Chase "womenizar" Scalan (fucking beast). Anywho, if your not dumping sac and filling gaps your doing this whole "college lacrosse" thing wrong. Yeah, Yeah, you might say that Scalan was a program sinker... I think he was a legend that changed the game for the better. Your telling me that ECD "donkey dick" Greg wasn't dumping sac, slapping ass, and scoring goals your fucking damn wrong... he was a ETOWN legend that filled more holes then Jordi EL Nino circa 2017. Remember to have fun at formal and these three rules: 1) DUMP SAC 2) invite a blonde whore (free sex and face rides (ps: someone beat my one night record (7) ) 3) be aggressive and break everything in sight (your dads amex will cover it, don't worry)
Franker signing off,
The best to ever do it