Holy Fuck, just got done my first ever parent teacher conference over at Taft, talk about brutal. So what my degenerate son said a few racial slurs, so what about "inclusion" and "diversity". Looks like the JV lacrosse program isn't getting any donations this year.... Also lets talk about how this place is 75 grand a year and my son can't even spell. Thank god I left that cumdumpster called Goldman Sachs and joined Blackrock (so many more young blondes). Anyways let's get into these rankings:
Army - Talk about a wagon. These guys are firing on all cylinders, tough lost against Boston University but the boys will bounce back. They got UNC on Saturday, rumor has it they're gonna turn this place into a parking lot. Jake Morin is an absolute nail gun, heard this guy kills 30 racks of busch apples post win (has a secret stash under his bed). Also get this guy a tinder premium account (UNC has a few blonde nuclear missiles on their campus).
Boston University - Huge win against Army, their good stand-up classic dudes. However one too many Rum and Cokes and a little too much time spent at Ned Divine's this fall, furthermore these boys will make it to the Patriot League Chip will probably run into Army.
Loyola - Don't have too much to say about these guys, they seem like good pals. Idk whatever.
Colgate - Sneaky team. Few nail guns. Too much time on the slopes. (good team edge)
Bucknell - Decent dudes, decent school. Heard Alpha Delta has this team by the balls. Figure it out fellas.
Navy - Wanna be Army, give it a few years guys.
8. Lehigh and Lafayette (Tied)- Basically the same school, I still can't tell the fucking difference. These two teams should probably just join and build a "super team" (they would still get smoked by Army lol)
Holy Cross
- Rather watch the children of the poor play lacrosse. Might walk out of my office in NYC, go to the closest sporting goods store, buy a few sticks and start handing them out to the homeless and watch them play. I think the boys over at La Roche led by star freshman midfielder Lebron James would give these guys a game and they're averaging 1.67 goals a game.