Mack Baxter. Some of you have probably not heard of him, and probably never will, but don’t be surprised as this hoss of a man will get abused by his friend group and then throw up anything in sight. I mean that so literally, as he is known as the “punching bag” of his friend group and blew chunks all over Little Vincent’s Pizzeria. Not sure if it’s from the buffalo chicken pizza, or the fact that he can’t handle an 8% white claw. C’mon brother, give your balls a tug and drink a beer. The last time I heard the name Baxter was when my high school lax team decided to name our team dildo that (I am so serious. It was 17 inches long.) so cheers to having a great name. Hopefully this evaluation gets his blood boiling, because I am aware of the intense anger issues he has and his allergy to dogs. This three sport athlete (lacrosse, basketball, hockey) is the true renaissance man. Enjoy your day brother.
Skill: 6.5/10
Agility: 4/10
Ability to digest food: 2.3/10
Rizz: 7.8/10
Hulk: Smash
Overall Score: 69/100
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