Ford's Nescac Top 10

My Nescac top 10 players.  Nobody from Hamilton here they fucking suck this year, and I don’t think I’ll write a good thing about them for the rest of 2025, since they’re just going to lose more guys to graduation, but they do have the second best birds in the ‘Cac, so they can recruit all the guys that weren’t able to play at Trinity.

Also, there is a big weekend ahead.  Bates vs Trinity should be good, and if Bates loses, they are officially the biggest frauds in the whole league this year.  Amherst plays Roanoke, and I love the ODAC, but let’s be honest Amherst is the heavy favorite here.  Especially since they don’t even have Jack Callis anymore.   

Midd isn’t terrible this year, but they’re not exactly making my wife Naomi’s clam wet when we watch them play.  It’s pretty clear they’re better than most Non-nescac teams, but I can’t see them getting a bid to the show.  Wesleyan should beat them without too much trouble.

Bowdoin has Hamilton, and I’m gonna be real, if the Pbears don’t run a complete train on Hamilton I’m going to have to edit this list right after.  Tufts is going against Colby, and good god, that will be a fucking massacre.

#10 Jason Lach Bowdoin: Jason Lach is a boozehound.  He can dodge, finish, and is a serious scoring threat.  He broke the program record at Bowdoin for goals, and is putting the dirty P’bears on the map once again.  He’s a blue collar beast who can crush defenders on the ride, and I think that he’ll be key to getting them an at large bid.

#9  Jed Hoggard Bowdoin: One of the best defenders, this guy has been on a tear this year and is putting up some good numbers on the scoreboard too.  He’s the guy who will inadvertently steal your bird, but buy you a beer and give you some bag to make up for it.  

#8 Charlie Tagliaferri Tufts: Wheel and deal.  Charlie Tagliaferri can touch bag, chug booze, and make defenders look so bad their bitch gets the ick.  He will fuck up commas in investment banking later and might just help Tuft’s to another natty.

#7  Bo Page Trinity:  Trinity is looking a lot better than last year, and Bo Page is still the best guy they have.  His bird is even better than the one’s available, and Trinity has the best birds in the whole conference, probably even all of D3 lacrosse.  That’s all you need to know.

#6 Casey Ryan Bowdoin:  Quarterback of the Bowdoin offense.  Biggest stallion on and off the field for the dirty Pbears.  He pretty much runs their entire offense and is probably going to be number one on this list when Jack Regnery graduates.

#5 Jack Raba Wesleyan:  Has an insane apple to geno ratio.  He doesn’t even take that many shots either, the defense just gives him so much attention, all he has to do is just sauce the ball to any other nailgun on the Wesleyan offense and the scoreboard lights up.  The dirty birds are one of my favorite teams, and it was disappointing to see them get eliminated last year.  It’ll be tough without DJ Dixon, but I think Jack Raba has some gas left in the tank to give these guys a big year.

# 4 Bob Gross Amherst:  Absolute buzzsaw out of Washington DC, this guy has been one of the best players on the Amherst offense for a very long time.  He can just make stuff happen, he’s got a great lacrosse IQ and stick skills, but is also a very good dodger.  This guy definitely didn’t wear a mask in 2020 and his question mark goal against Bowdoin left several wet spots on the bleachers.  

# 3  CK Giancola Wesleyan: He can do it all, and is Wesleyan's best offensive player.  Wesleyan is going to be a wagon this year, and CK Giancola is a big reason why.  He can shoot, feed, and dodge really well.  He also did shrooms with me last summer on Stroker and Co’s annual August fishing retreat.  Keep up the great work CK, and we hope to see your team in the championship.  

# 2 Thompson Lau Amherst: Best LSM in college lacrosse.  Nothing really changed since last season.  He still is a gb machine and is drowning in muff even tho he’s ugly as fuck.  I think he sniffs more rock than any other player in the conference, and my latina mistress Clarissa’s nipples harden every time she sees him on the field.

#1 Jack Regnery Tufts:

The best player in the ‘Cac. No doubt about it.  He has shucked enough oysters to fill 3 sorority houses, and probably gets rug burn from dragging around that massive rope of his on the field.  He can rip net and absolutely ice a defense after a night of nose candy and booze.  We hate his team, but this guy is a fucking forklift.