This conference is full of beauties who seek to grow the game down south. Robert E. Lee would be proud of all the studs down here (especially at W and L) and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised that more of these guys get some bids to the show. The most famous ODAC lacrosse alum is currently on the phone with jewish lawyers and has a 2-0 fighting record, and an even better record with the birds. Of course, I’m talking about none other than Jack Callis who was a big north south dodger back before the fake news virus hit and shortened his career. Some of the best lacrosse teams in D3 are in this conference, so its time to give these blue collar beasts the respect they deserve.
Washington and Lee
This gritty group of power drills upset Salisbury and almost made it to the natty last year. James Haley is still there to muck brunette box and I heard Hillis Burns fucks just like he does his investment banking: calculated. They lose some production, but the generals are great at developing talent. Nick De Cain is only going to get better after a solid freshman campaign so the ceiling is the roof for these guys. Riley Albregts and Matthew Ezzell can both lock it down on the back end so they'll be good for another stab at the natty.
Lynchburg
This team is also filled with southern stallions who love to slang dick and are no spitters when it comes to their five finger grizzly bears. Jack Ponzoni is set to have a great year on the faceoff dot after a strong freshman campaign, and they keep a productive attack unit. They do lose some offensive power in the midfield, but keep a lot of their defense. This is a squad that has a lot to prove, and a close game with a solid Hamilton team suggests that they can be something special.
Roanoke
This place simply breeds menaces. Legendary alumni Jack Callis is a Roanoke lacrosse product, and based on his performance both on and off the field, safe to say that the maroons are a squad stuffed to the gills with buzz saws who can crush booze and collect DUIs like the IRS collects my capital gains tax. On offense, they lose quite a few guys but retain Julian Kammerman, Noah Bell and Clayton Bewick. Defensively they got 3 beauties at LSM who can push transition and score if needed while also holding it down in the back end. If they just imagine their opponents are two Redskins fans on a Baltimore sidewalk, they could probably win the natty no sweat.
Hampden Sydney
Just like in the Centennial, there is a pretty big drop off once you get past number 3. Hampden Sydney is just not that good I’m gonna be real. They had a good outing against Washington and Lee, only losing by 1, so they aren’t dust but with the bulk of production coming from seniors last year these guys will have a steep uphill battle and they will be a very different team than before.
Randolph Macon
There are some studs who go here, but these guys don’t have great chances to get to the show unless they lock the fuck in and go on RFK’s cycle for the entire spring. They don’t lose too many seniors offensively, and they retain goalie Jack Twomey. However, his save percentage is under 50, so not the best look for the yellow jackets. The boys here are more concerned with wheeling blonde hillbilly chicks who never saw any dick that wasn’t their brothers or their fathers than get a bid to the show, and I can't blame em.
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