Spent the past couple days on a ski trip with my rich friend, and coworker here at the firm, Ford in Vermont. We ended up at a D3 tilt that we were considering touching bag and ripping Kona’s in a port a john throughout. Ended up watching an OT game that genuinely made my scrotum tingle a bit. Inhaled a turkey sub underneath the bleachers trying to catch a few glimpses under those blankets everyone was wearing. Nice.
Starting off, why the fuck would you wanna go to school at Williams. This town looks like it’s a sneeze away from collapsing. Average house has gotta be worth 86 bucks and a finger blast on some 96 year old WW2 era nurse. Immediately decided I hated this fucking squad and was a bobcat for the day. I’m used to acres of property with maids who put my socks on as a child. Just wasn’t my tempo here. I guess kids need scholarship money? I wouldn’t know, my crazy rich dad paid for all that.
I don’t know any names here since it’s D3 so stick with me a bit. 11-10 OT win, this 47 pound kid nipped corns for the win and hit the worst celly I’ve seen in all my years, a backflip. This isn’t football kid. You’re gonna be an investment banker in 5 years. Best player on their offense no doubt, but instantly ruined it with that corny shit. 51 I think he was, put their O on his back, but good god just throw up double birds to the 3 fat moms on the snow mound, or flash your horn at some williams hockey broads. Need some work there bahd. Player of the game is their tendy, game could’ve been a blowout in the first half, I snuck fent into his water bottle with a dash of franks red hot and that clearly got him going. I expect him to get some attention from one of the eight chicks who attend bates university this weekend. Another guy who needs some attention is their LSM completely forgot his number, im high as balls, but that guy looks one roid away from tearing a pec. Probably had 36 Caused turnovers and 231 ground balls, give him some burn on that bus ride home. Big fan of their big fat FOGO, those thunder thighs were flapping around in that noreastern wind all game. Went like 98% from the dot I think. Not all sunshine and rainbows for the bobcats though there are some fucking pigeons on this roster but overall I’m impressed.
As far as Williams goes, some solid players but this one kid, 41 I think, has to be the most hated kid on his roster. Reminds me of the “nobody does it like signu” kid. Didn’t even talk to him, you can just tell he thinks he’s playing D1 ball at Maryland instead of doing hard drugs like the rest of these D3 Nailguns. Buddy is an English major so he’s probably thinks he can will these guys to a natty and have one happy memory, because he’s got a lifetime of working at McDonalds after.
Also, an obese goalie doesn’t always mean he’s gonna be good too. If this town wasn’t a joke, maybe I wouldn’t be hating this much. Blowing a lead like that and walking home to your 6x6x6 dorm has to hurt man. Soggy subs and dusty birds to wash it all down. Take care bozos