Holy sweet mother of biblical Grandma tits Ozzy and Ryler put their minds together on this heater!
You better come correct if you're gonna roll up to a lacrosse party, so allow us to give you a little 101. If you don't want to get the shit beat out of you with an STX Proton Power I would say you at least better toss on a vintage practice pinnie. If that shit don’t smell like Wheaton Jacoboice’s undergarments then I will beat the fucken brakes off you.
You may think a pair of gloves is optional…. if you are facken brain dead. Grow the fuck up. If you're not wearing team-issued gloves, how will you split the G on your pint of Guinness? The answer is you won't, and you will probably be nursing two vodka crans holding up the goddamn wall.
Here is the bottom line if your lingo is dust I will pants you in front of everyone, Mount Olive style. My buddy Fleetwood who is a financial legend will keester a goddamn swax lax so far up your ass he will have you reciting Hammurabi’s code. For example, if I call on you in front of everyone to use the word Butt-Pussy in a sentence and you have no clue what I am saying, Fleetwood will do exactly what he did that night at Mount Olive circa 2018.
If you don't slam your nose to the table first thing as you walk in the door I will make you perform the Loyola MD 2022 run test. You will then be asked to complete the Barton men's lacrosse wallball test. If you are still alive at the end of this I will have my buddy Romario serve you his world-famous lobster bisque. The special ingredient in it is his ass hair.
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