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This right here fellas an alpha fucking male. From the way he walks, to the way he shoots, even the way he takes a piss, Connor Davis is not only a idol for any young laxer looking to succeed but a model citizen in our society. His dad played football at Auburn (Nailgun U) and his cousins are the colquitts (NFL punters) (nailguns as well). He came out the womb with a 3inch boner. He also dates the hottest chicks at Bucknell.
Let me walk through Connor’s elite morning routine.
5:30: He wakes up and immediately hits a 15 minute jelquing tabata workout to stay loose (he has a 5.7 inch flacid penis thanks to this simple trick).
5:45: Fresh off stretching the rod, he hops on a 45 minute Jerkmate call with Head Coach Frank Fedorjaka (his best friend). They usually discuss practice plans, stat pad techniques, ways to keep their hairlines, and end by harassing single mothers in China and Malaysia.
6:30: Connor hits the wall for a half hour, in his boxers, giving thanks to the creator and chanting Iroquois hymns.
7:00: Cold shower, Wim Hof breathing, and getting dressed in Lulu ABCs (earth tones), Barbour jacket, and a pair of Vejas (white).
He then gets breakfast with his girlfriend (hottest girl at bucknell), usually making sure to avoid eye contact with her while he eats 6 eggs, a couple blue chews, and two 6mgs to the upper deck.
Connor rarely skips class and always drinks responsibly (17+ beers). He loves the lovely ladies of Kappa and the complete opposite of a blind squirrel. "The huzz whisperer" has 17 points in 3 game this year(wow!) and is 17 goals away from the scoring record at Bucknell. With 11 games remaining, the only things that could stop Connor from this great achievement would be death or maybe accusations from a massage therapist. Go bison!
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